Conflict, Disaffection and the Drama Triangle
- AWT
Over time, I have acquired a passion for Psychology. I have
found that if you know why it enables you to disengage from the
impact:
“Bad day?”
*sad face*
“Ah, that’ll be your [insert
psychological theory]!”
*smiles*
So…
…the drama triangle by Stephen Karpman formulates that we assume
different roles in relationships. These roles dictate behaviour and are used to
maintain control in interactions.
In a classroom, power and control are resources often
utilised to maintain behaviour; tellingly, teachers feel most threatened when opposed
or ignored. Conversely, we feel happy when thanked, and beam when we receive
cards that imply ‘[they] couldn’t have done it without us.’ This is the
behaviour of the drama triangle.
The three corners of the drama
triangle are persecutor, rescuer and victim.
Persecutor Rescuer
Victim
The common scenario in the classroom would be the student
‘victim’ and the teacher ‘rescuer’. Students look for support only we can provide: student feedback
affirms our necessity. However, the
disaffected student might be different. For example, a ‘persecutor’ may be more
interested in proving their power through blame; or they may be a ‘rescuer’ who
has to rush to support a friend in need; or the extreme ‘victim’, unable to
start work independently.
And how do we
rectify these? We become the persecutor,
armed with sanctions, restoring the student to the victim; or we ‘rescue’ the
‘victim’, showering them with praise and attention, indebting them to us.
Of course, this is behaviour in adults also: teachers who
work until midnight; colleagues that say ‘yes’ when snowed under with marking;
teachers bristling for an argument. Conflict comes from the roles we inhabit:
our disaffected students play their parts, as do we.
Knowing what to expect from the drama triangle, though, empowers
us. If a student is playing the victim and searching for a rescuer, then we can
find a way to enable that student to take responsibility, to search for their
own solutions, and to step outside of their dependent thinking.
If a student seeks power through putting down others, we
work with them to explore others’ value, to understand and tolerate everyone
and learn that we all have strength and weakness in equal measure.
And, for those who are harming themselves through their own
rescuer tendencies, there is a choice to make: for whom, when and what are they
responsible? (And this one very much
applies to us, as teachers).
How is this achieved?
Like anything worth having, this is not a ‘quick’ fix. It
takes time, because it is a seismic shift in mind-set.
Some thoughts:
·
There is always a choice, but also always a consequence: speak in terms
of choices and consequences.
·
Whilst you can
make a student (through sanctions, threats, intimidation) bend to the will of
the teacher, long-term that is dis-abling that person from taking
responsibility. It is healthier to clarify
choices and consequences, supporting the student to respond appropriately once
the choice is made.
·
Talk and
listen to your students: what is
their mind-set? Are they making
damaging choices through a drama-triangle mind-set?
·
Don’t
engage with the drama triangle. Step outside of the rescuer / persecutor
role: although we are teachers, we are still just people, and we deal with
young people - there is no entitlement to respect.
·
Reflect
on your own actions: when do you play the victim, persecutor, rescuer? AWT
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