‘Boys Will Be Boys?’


When I became a mother of two boys, I was keen to dispel the myths that boys and girls learn differently. However, the older my sons become the more differences I seem to notice between them and their female peers. Do parents of girls have conversations with their daughter’s teacher about having food fights in the school canteen, or is it just boy’s parents – or just my son? If boys do switch off from traditional classroom learning at an early age - my eldest son already says: ‘School is just sitting and writing, and then you get to play.’ - is his view on learning and his behaviours something parents can affect, schools, society, or is it something that that is genetically built into them?
It made me think about at what point we need to support boys in their learning and if it was ever too late? Can we really have an impact when boys get to secondary school if some of their views of primary have been so negative? I started doing some research and read the books ‘Bring the Best Out in Boys’ and ‘The Whole Brain Child’ and ‘Boys Don’t Try?’
‘Bringing the Best out in Boys’ was initially printed in 2002 and therefore has some outdated ideas in it. However, Neall does raise some thought-provoking points and this book is an excellent contrast with the most recent publication ‘Boys Don’t Try?’
‘The Whole Brain Child’ looks at the development of the child’s brain and the various stages up until the age of 12 offering some practical advice on how to de-escalate confrontational conversations and encourage children to take ownership of their emotions. Simply, it offers ideas on how to help the right and left brain to work together to build coping strategies for further resilience in life. We often talk about resilience at school and the importance of this but do our students all have the tools to do this effectively? It is all very well saying be resilient, but we need to show students how they can achieve this and draw attention to this behaviour when we do see it. This is where restorative and reflective conversations come into practise.    
In Neall’s book she lists many physiological and behavioural differences between boys and girls from birth, which in summary, seems to favour girls having a better predisposition for being successful in a school environment in the early years!  How can we re-connect with these children, in particular boys, who have felt they are not capable of engaging in school from such an early age?
Interestingly, she refers to the differences in the make up of male and female brains and the impact that hormone changes can have in boys at different stages of their development. Interestingly, with a peak of testosterone at age 14, boys are being asked to engage in their GCSEs, in a serious manner, and manage characteristics such as: strong sexual feelings, general restlessness, a desire to test limits, single-mindedness, a sense of energy and a need for hierarchy. I know I am guilty of sympathy for the amount of work students have to complete in these years but as they are growing into adults and many are taller than me, I often expect them to be a bit more mature – however, they have other things on their minds. So how can we help the to focus and prioritise?
Neall goes on to explore how we interpret these behaviours in the classroom and how we can manage these in a positive way to ensure boys aren’t put into categories or labelled. She draws attention to the fact that everyone wants to be liked and gain approval. She gives examples of how you can make your interactions with students, and not just boys, more positive and help build self-esteem to ensure they are not looking for it from elsewhere: ‘You got on quietly with you work. It takes self-discipline to do that’. Recognising the attributes that students show help to build a sense of self-worth and aspiration.  
Neall draws attention to the importance of male role models, ‘Boys with a man in their life who spends time with them, does activities with them, listens to their problems and gives them guidance are more likely to have high self-esteem and a positive outlook’.
She also highlights the concept of boys needing to shape their masculinity. What versions of masculinity have they been exposed to? How do they feel about the versions that they are presented with? Do they feel pressured to fit in? According to ‘Boys Don’t Try’ boys need men to talk to avoid exacerbating mental health problems. Is this something we are pro-active in providing? Do male members of staff want to serve this role?
I have always found it hard to accept that male teachers don’t have it easier with teaching boys than females and I am still divided in this area. In ‘Boys Don’t Try’ they state their research, ‘Children overwhelmingly see the teacher’s purpose or ‘role’ as to teach them – the children’s concern is with the ability to do this effectively’ – phew! But is my teaching really enough? Surely if you were to put a male teacher next to a female teacher, of equal skill, in front of a male student, he would pick the male and be more connected with the male… Can women really be facilitators for learning in the same way, or is it more about how boys view women, the topics, and the world around them?
Nowadays, we see our society breaking down the traditional expectations of masculinity. So where does that leave our boys and how can we simply adapt our teaching and everyday interactions to welcome a sense of gender equality and make it an ethos? If we challenge societal norms regarding gender, surely we will be producing students who are tolerant, liberated, driven and fair, who have many more choices than previous generations: if we truly want an equal society, it has to start at ground level and students need to be eager to participate.  It is also important to consider how you reprimand and praise boys and girls. Is this the same, or is a gender building a resentment towards you and your subject? There is an excellent questionnaire in ‘Boys Don’t Try which encourages you to realign your views on teaching boys with a sense of equality.
I would highly recommend reading ‘Boys Don’t Try?’. The authors try to dispel the myths about how to get the best out of boys – many of which were alluded to in Neall’s book. It also gives lots of practical advice on how to engage with boys and challenge ‘toxic masculinity and the way it manifests in schools’.
Vitally, the idea that it is all about boys is unfair because when we tackle this ‘toxic masculinity’ that exists, perpetuated by many media outlets and our everyday vernacular, and try to produce boys who are aware of ‘tender masculinity’, then we produce more boys who treat girls with respect, support them and don’t see feminism as something to ridicule. Girls become empowered and boys begin to express their emotions in a healthy way, leading to less anxiety, and who are committed to personal growth. 
I was particularly interested in the language of sexism and the importance of challenging this whenever it occurs, ‘For many boys, the use of sexualised language is so regular, it has become normalised’. It is a shame that we live in a culture where this needs to be challenged, but it does, and we need to be brave. It can be shocking when we hear inappropriate comments about students and ourselves, but we must avoid passing it off as ‘banter’ or ‘brushing it under the carpet’ or thinking that you are being ‘too sensitive’. I myself have been the victim of derogatory comments that have made me feel shaken and shocked; every time, despite my discomfort, I have acknowledged it and addressed it, and reported it, when I needed to, but have been clear to the students that this is not acceptable in our society.
I know I am guilty of this, but can we all need to adjust out language to move away from stereotypes such as:
‘It’s a boy heavy class’
‘I need a couple of big strong boys to help move the table’
‘A typical lad’
‘The boys won’t cope with that much reading’
‘A group of bitchy girls’
‘Drama queen’
‘Feral boys’
‘Man up’
‘Man flu’
To summarise some of the controversial but significant ideas in this book I have magpied (stolen) a table I found on the fabulous EduTwitter:
What DOESN’T work
What DOES work
Competitions
Watering down vocabulary
Always doing shorter tasks
Making learning relevant to boys’ interests
Using boy friendly texts
Banter to establish relationships
High expectations for all
NOT saying this is hard
Treating boys and girls the same
Using the same language for boys and girls
Not making excuses for poor performance
Giving work back if it is not up to standard
Celebrating success
Low risks assessments - whiteboards

In the English department we directly discuss the ingrained societal expectations of genders in society, in our SOW in Year 9, and in our Speaking and Listening Unit in Year 10 when we analyse Emma Watson’s ‘He for She’ speech in which many students, including boys, have become passionate about. Can you identify where you may address this in your departments?
Over the past two years, I have been exploring boys’ motivation and engagement at school in KS4. I was working with a group of 10 boys who had shown they were underachieving in Maths and English. These were boys who were not on a PP or SEN list.
I was keen to find out what motivated the boys to learn: whether it was intrinsic or extrinsic; what study habits they had; what they felt was effective teaching; and what kind of men they wanted to grow up to be.
Initially I met with the whole group fortnightly. The boys were keen to get involved and wanted to share their views on learning and what was important to them at this stage in their lives. When we got up to session 6, it was clear some of the boys were holding back. Noticing a divide in the group, it was clear that although they wanted to be part of it not all felt comfortable meeting and sharing their ideas; it was intense and felt new to them. Therefore, I split the group into the students that were more ‘toxic’ and more ‘tender’. I met with half of the group and then with the other half which meant I saw them less, but they kept attending.
When it came to February in Year 11, It was clear some needed a more direct 1:1 approach, therefore, I trailed some of them in the lessons, catching up with them afterwards and quizzing them on their learning. I also met with some of them in one to one catch ups. I was getting to know the boys well and they felt valued. They particularly liked the sweets! They were keen to share their thoughts about school and ask questions about their futures. They felt safe and important and part of our school community at a point where they may have been drifting away. 
I contacted home for all the boys on several occasions, and the parents were enthusiastic about getting feedback: parents really do feel out of the loop at secondary.
I’m not convinced my interactions necessarily had an impact on their final maths and English grades but I hope that my interventions may have guided them a little more in becoming more independent, ambitious, confident and thoughtful men in society –  it was very clear that they wanted to feel part of something, and I built some great relationships with these individuals around the school which I wouldn’t have done before. Seeing these students as individuals with valuable opinions rather than just a student to pass a grade really does make a difference.
These students we are putting out into the world, boys or girls, all have a voice that is often not acknowledged or valued. I want boys and girls to feel confident to share ideas about any topic, without anxiety.
This week, my Year 7 English class, girls and boys, all confidently shared their very personal ideas; students should feel confident and driven to do this all through secondary school and we should create environments where students feel driven and passionate enough to share their thoughts and worries without being oppressed by ‘toxic masculinity’.  
I hoping to continue the work this year, with a new set of boys using ‘Boys Don’t Try’ strategies more directly.  
Below are the activities I completed in my sessions and their GCSE results. I have not put their names in but do come and see me if you are unsure of who I had been working with.
Boys Focus Groups Sessions;
Session 1
Pupil voice
Shared with staff via email
Letter went home to parents about involvement in group
Session 2
What makes a good learner?
Session 3
Confidence building
Feedback from teachers – huge confidence boost
Session 4
What does being a man in our culture and others mean?
Session 5
Role models
Session 6
Jobs for genders
Session 7
Making plans for the future
Session 8
Being professional - work experience
Session 9
Memory techniques
Session 10
Guest speaker
Session 11
Advice for Year 7 Boys
Sessions 12
Growth Mindset survey
Session 13
Resolutions for Year 11
Shared with staff
Session 14:
Revision Tips
1:1 Sessions: Checking revision

Students
Sept 2017
English
Sept 2018
English
English
Target
Results
English
Sept
2017
Maths
Sept
2018
Maths
Maths
Target
Results
Maths

5
4
6
5
5
5
6
4

4
5
6
3
4
4
5
4

5
4
5
6
4
5
6
4

5
6
6
5
6
7
7
7

4
4
4
3
3P
3S
5
4

4
4
5
2
3P
3P
5
2

5
5
6
4
3S
4
6
4

5
5
6
3
5
6
6
6

6
6
6
6
5
6
7
5

4
5
4
3
3S
5
5
4

5
6
5
6
3S
6
6
5






Author MLN

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